Toddler Talk

It seems like yesterday that we were looking down at our tiny newborns, helpless and new; eyes blinking in the light of the world outside the womb. Now, twenty months on, we have TODDLERS. They amaze and frustrate us in equal measure, with their wilfulness and uncannily similar spirits. And, despite their shared love of the word ‘NO!’ at the moment, they provide us with daily entertainment thanks to the things that come out of their mouths. From parroting what we’ve just said, to soaking up words like little sponges to use later on (sometimes even weeks later), to mispronunciations of the finest order, we thought we’d share some of our favourites with you…

The cock and ball frog.

At the moment, as the girls try to tackle longer words with more syllables and harder sounds, mispronunciations are commonplace. Both girls struggle to pronounce the letter ‘L’. Lauren spent a while trying to ignore the fact that Milla was saying ‘shite’ a lot, only to finally realise during a trip to the park that she was actually saying ‘slide’. Similarly, Primrose repeatedly refers to ‘cock’ or ‘cocks’ when she means ‘clock’. As if that’s not embarrassing enough, we have a clock in a nearby shopping centre that features a twice-hourly musical display… a golden ball travels down a ramp to a giant frog, disappears and is replaced by a big fan and then the frog blows bubbles. It’s beautiful, and thankfully the music and squeals of other excited children is enough to drown out the inevitable, “Frog! Cock and Ball!” Grandpa’s grandfather clock has, fortunately, been renamed ‘tick tock’ for the time being!

Neither of the girls can say cucumber. M favours ‘cumber’ and P, ‘cummaca’. Both say ‘mulk’ instead of ‘milk’. For P, spoons are ‘foons’ though Jo is relieved that ‘fork’ is now clearly spoken after a brief dalliance with a similar sounding four-letter word. Yesterday, P joined Jo and Phil on a trip to the ‘hostiple’ for a scan and one of M’s favourite foods is a ‘papple’ (apple). P eventually mastered saying ‘Milla’ after initially using ‘minger’ (again, mercifully short lived!) M calls P ‘Prifose’ and her friend, Kit, is known as ‘Tit’ or, sometimes, ‘Titty’! P refers to daffodils as ‘daffles’ and, perhaps the cutest of all is M’s ‘badybird’ for ladybird (the cover photo for this post shows the girls watching a badybird) and P’s ‘duggle’ for cuddle… it sometimes feels like the end of an era when they finally learn the correct pronunciation for these words.

A potty, obviously.

Then there are the words that are just completely wrong – Jo has a potty in the bathroom just to get P used to it being around. She’s not ready to potty train yet, which is just as well because it currently gets referred to as a ‘teapot’…

Sometimes, though, they pick up on words that they shouldn’t and it’s really bloody hard to stifle the giggles. We’ve both managed to curb our swearing – P can frequently be heard saying ‘Goodness me!’, ‘Whoops’ or ‘Gosh’ and M favours ‘Sugar lumps’ and ‘Holy wow!’ – but there have been a few occasions where words have slipped out and have been mimicked. Jo gets terrible road rage and, though the F-bombs have stopped, she did use ‘JESUS CHRIST SLOW DOWN!!!’ recently, only to hear a tiny voice pipe up with, “Christ! Mama… Mama… MAMA! Christ!!!” As if in solidarity, Lauren has been faced with M repeating ‘Bokbox’… Let’s just hope that doesn’t get repeated at the same time as the ‘cock and ball’ show at the shopping centre(!)

Got a toddler who can’t pronounce something? Have they picked up on a ‘bad’ word that you’ve said? Have they said something to someone that is unwittingly inappropriate? From the cute to the hilarious, we’d love to hear them all. Share with us below.

Love, The Mother Side xx

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